South Africa 18th of February 2011
Yeaha Friday today! Our plane leaves tonight for yet another visit to South Africa. It is my 15th trip in 14 years and still I am not able to figure out certain tradition. We make a promise to ourselves that each time we visit the country we are going to learn something new.
I am finishing up at work and we rush to the airport. Our seats are booked on the new A380 Boeing from Frankfurt to Tambo international. First things first getting in Frankfurt from Brussels…
I am still running on adrenaline, scared that the plane would leave without us we rush through customs on our way to security…shit a large queue to pass the security control. Of course I am impatient ... Needless to say i am doing ‘the deaf man trick’, I am wondering around next to the queue moving outside of the queue to the front. Ok ok i know it is not really fair, and I even bet that the lady of security saw it.
Putting my stuff on the scanner, unpacking the laptop, cellphone , shoes and belt out, I am still wondering if i should take my metal braced bra out as I pass the metal detector, realizing that i should watch the ins to the machine i return back ..BIEP BIEP the alarm goes off.
Ok no worries it can happen, I have no crimes on my report so what?....NoNo not for this security butch : " Take your stuff here. You shouldn’t have gone back!!!! " she insults me.
“Sorry” i say “i was not aware of it"
" pff” she ironically replies "sure?!...Let me guess: first time on a plane? ".
Now here is the moment i proved my hubby that i can keep my mouth shut.
In my head the words go around: " first time?!? Bitch! I probably pop up more on a plane a year then you hop on a stallion.”
Of course trying to get rid of her i smiled apologized and still this bitch keeps on insulting me:
”Open your legs” she says
Honestly! You tell me when are the two occasions we, women, concur? Exactly! At the gynecologist and if duty calls… nevertheless I obey and she starts to scan
“Turn around” she said and i try hard ... really hard.. to focus and for once fart on comment to prove her wrong when she searches my pants. As she finishes searching me for the 3th time I feel violated but we have no time to worry about it, time flies and we have a plane to catch. ( I later hear that Brussels airport received some complains on the rough body scans from security, so I was not the only one!)
“You are so lucky” everyone says “flying in a new A380 the biggest passenger plane in the world!” Somehow I am not impressed. Inside nothing shows that it is huge and hosts more than 500 passengers. The plane is divided into compartments.. The seats are as tiny as usual; the leg space is none existing also just as usual and the service? Well the plane is operated by Lufthansa, reputed for their excellent service; they lost a star from the star alliance program on this plane. It takes ages before we get our first drink, just to be sure I ask for 2 drinks and Puma totally irritated by the cold blowing air-conditioning asks for a hot Choco. “Sorry sir, we only serve hot drinks after dinner” the stewardess respond. A clearly irritated Puma: “Well give me than a fucking blanket and heat it up here!” Eventually it is 1AM in the morning when we get our”Pasta or beef” food tray. (Yep yep “the Chicken or Beef” is out, these days it is a vegetarian platter or a beef one that you can chose from)
The plane can be new, but the service is clearly not adjusted to his size. 15 stewards cannot serve 500 passengers at once!
South Africa 19th of February 2011
Tambo Airport has benefited well form the World cup 2010 it is beautiful renovated and up to Western standards, nothing in this building indicates one as arrived on the African continent…although hmm not exactly.. Customs does. They are slower than the slow motion functionality on a DVD player. Something you notice everywhere in the country. The first days I am usually not up to this rhythm, I am so scared that if I follow this rhythm my heart will stop beating.
We meet Chris and Ursula at the airport. We met them virtually on the internet now almost 2 years ago. They love our country and ordered some Belgium Gold: chocolate! It is lovely to hear the local stories and realize you are only here for a holiday.
We have a course on Monday and Tuesday before our holiday starts in the meantime we stay at Carina’s and Barnards place. According to local Afrikaners tradition we have brought our own cooler box with for our stay. We learned by experience one has to come with a filled cooler box on a visit. Since our first visit now 5 years ago where we arrived with an empty cooler box, no drinks and no food for the evening , we don’t take any risk and stop at the supermarket for some groceries.
I am pretty sure Carina would provide and we don’t have to take our own drinks and food with. But hey “when in Rome do as the romans”
South Africa 21th of February 2011
We would almost forget, but we are here to follow a course: “Customer Service Excellence”. We arrive on time in the venue. A nice place in Fourways, traffic towards it is hell and so are the local drivers. The traffic lights, the stops, roundabouts all very beautiful arranged, but I guess no one ever taught the people how to use it properly. Taxi minibuses drive like maniacs and the rest either they are scared, ignore they need to be quickly at work or they are on African time.
Puma and I are the only once in the course.
Our teacher is Nadia, during two days we will get to know all her life including the most intimate details. She calls herself a bitch on 2 legs, and honestly who am I to contradict.
She starts off with the introduction, which we can also find in our hardcopy on our desk. Word by word it is exactly as on paper. She does not miss one word of the introduction, even the small jokes are written down. Puma and I realize that she is reading out loud the course instead of teaching. Needless to say that it does not only slows down the course it is also irritating to follow. Puma tries diplomatically to tell the teacher we are able to read ourselves. We want examples and teaching. I doubt she knows what teaching is as she explains the rules of customers’ service and uses her examples; I start to wonder if she actually knows what customer service is? During lunch she impolitely starts to call, practice what you preach lady!
Oh well whatever, at least we got a course on how you don’t need to treat your customers. It should have been :” the dont’s of customer service”